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| It Came from the Alligator Pit |
It Came from the Alligator Pit
During a tour of the South in the summer of 2000, I visited the Memphis Zoo. I hatched this wonderful idea to not only get some exercise and spend some time in the great outdoors, but also to educate myself in the ways of the wild. The thing I noticed about myself at the zoos I visited on tour was the fact that I seemed to be spending more time watching the people than the animals. The patrons readily made sounds and did imitations in front of the cages that often made me wonder who should actually be locked up and reminded me that karaoke wasn't so bad after all. As I learned more about the animals I began to identify with a few. For example, the wart hog and I have two things in common. We both apparently look about the same in the morning and when frightened run with our tails up. At the entrance to the reptile section of the zoo, I caught myself leaning over the waist-high railing, diligently reading about the alligators (as if I needed to...I'm from Florida and we have over a million of them!). As I leaned over the shallow pit my sunglasses, which had been hanging on the front of my shirt, fell into the alligator pit. Now I had just spent an exorbitant amount of money on those glasses not three hours earlier in the zoo's gift shop (about $7.99 I believe) and I wasn't about to part with them so quickly. At that moment the alligator which was about two compact car lengths away, opened one eye and stared at me seeming to say in his best Clint Eastwood impression, "Go ahead, make my day." I did. As I leaped into the alligator pit to retrieve my sunglasses I recall that the thought actually went through my head - "Hey, I'm from Florida...they know me!). Things didn't really get tense until my hasty escape attempt from Alligatortraz when a sizable crowd formed, blocking my exit, armed with video cameras and desperately filming away in hopes of gathering footage for Real Idiot TV. I chewed my way through the crowd. Ironically, my show that night drew about the same size crowd. When they asked to videotape my performance I responded with a "No." Richard Gilewitz is a touring guitarist, humorist, and independent recording artist who endorses GHS Strings, Peavey Electronics Corporation, Sabine tuners, Shubb capos, and Tacoma Guitars. He travels the continental United States and has given more than 400 workshops in the past five years. For more information about this adventurous performer, please see his website at www.richardgilewitz.com. Return to the top
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